"Goddamn right, it's a beautiful day."

Would you believe that someone as fabulous and brilliant as myself doesn't really have any friends?

Would you??

I have internet friends. Oh boy. I mean, I find it fascinating that there are equally cool mo-fo's out there, and slowly we are finding each other.

But this is not real life.

Oh today, it was brought to my attention that I talk too much. Well, let me phrase that more appropriately: In sum, I am too scientific, or "preachy."

I "take the fun out of everything."

Well just fucking great. I cried for a bit, then realized that by crying I am holding myself to ridiculous, average, normal people standards.

I'm not dumbing myself down for anybody. I'm was never very good at pretending to be something I'm not, in order to please any and/or everybody.

I'm BEING ME, and if you have a fucking problem, YOU waste YOUR time crying, because I'm caught up for a lifetime.

There are people in this world that are the most selfish, thoughtless, un-charismatic, bland, ignorant, asshole-fucking douche bags, and somehow these types have friends.

Fuck. I climbed all the way up here on my soapbox, and this is where I'll stay.

When I have a PhD, will you take me seriously then? Because I'll still be boring, I'll just have fancy letters after my name.

When I'm published and going on miniature book tours to college campuses around the nation, are you going to tell your like-minded friends how awesome it is that you know me?

That will be nice for you. You can talk down ABOUT me to others all you want, and then reap the small amount of attention you get for knowing somebody so fantastic and courageous.

I'm off to write now. Don't hurt yourselves thinking about all those fancy letters I'll be laying on the page. Save those precious brains for the zombie apocalypse.