Reactionary Pantoum (crappy email response poetry)

The Purtians and Pilgrims paved the way
Old General MacCarthy set the bar.
Centuries later, masses led astray--
Now any kind of prayer is "going to far"

MacCarthy relentlessly backed the cause
Patriotic hero leading the fight
Now freedom's lost, since prayer is "going to far"
The letters 'P.C.' strangling the right.

Democracy--No room for Commie pigs!
In the Pilgrim's ideal--the church was state
Political correctness for the win
Now I'm the one harrassed for displayed faith.

The Pilgrims must be rolling in their graves
As heathen politicians study law
And I'm the one harrassed for displayed faith
As liberals bulldoze Ten Commandment walls.

Our politicians ALL corrupt God's law
So no one is allowed to mumble prayer
We're left with crumbled Ten Commandments walls--
And judging right from wrong "just isn't fair."

Still nobody allowed to utter prayer
But tattooed, pierced-up freaks demand a fight
Since judging right from wrong "just isn't fair"
We want religious freedom, as our right.

The tattooed, pierced-up freaks demand a fight
Centuries later, masses led astray
We want religious freedom, as our right
The Puritans and Pilgrims paved the way.

Top Ten Secrets of Douchebags

This blog comes from the brilliant website/idea generator, http://linkbaitgenerator.com/index.php The subject was randomly generated by the site. The rest is all me, baby. Top Ten Secrets of Douchebags:

1) Complete lack of inhibition/morals/code of conduct.

2) Express your opinion, no matter how ignorant, ill-informed, pretentious, presumptuous, or glaringly, blatantly, obviously WRONG it may be. Express this as loudly and with all the enthusiasm/hostility you can muster, at all times.

3)STANDARD ATTIRE: Khakis, Polo-collared shirt (preferably pink), poorly constructed fraternity tattoo (the one from the college you got kicked out of due to Academic probation), Natty Lite brand flip-flops.

4) A MINIMUM of One beer pong champion trophy/medal/ribbon–T.J. Maxx or homemade are both acceptable, but must be prominently displayed in a heavy traffic area.

5) “It’s beer-o-clock!” is a crucial part of your everyday vocabulary.

6) T.V. Visor was totally necessary in your “souped up” Honda Accord (V6, Suck it!).

7) ANY story can be outdone. ANY.

You have a Bachelor’s degree of Science in economics/business/accounting/web and/or graphic design, with both hazy and questionable memories as to how you achieved such a thing.

9) You proudly own an extra large Scarface movie poster.

10) Your Five favorite movies: Gone in 60 Seconds, Dazed and Confused, Alien vs. Predator, Bio-Dome, and The James Bond collection.

Enjoy my friends. I know I did!